March 16, 2013

Dairy 1 Mama 0

What is motherhood, I am sure I could get a million responses, however, I will say motherhood equates to an ever changing, mind fucking, heart palpatating, snuggle fest, at least that is my definition for today. What is my attitude problem today, I have found myself in or should I say I am compromising with a decision I do not agree with.

I made a choice when my babes began to consume solids that they would not consume dairy or gluten. At least not until the day came that I could no longer shield them from, okay control them eating what their friends eat. My husband and I attempt to eat paleo, although with eating paleo comes meal planning and trips to a variety of grocery stores for specific items such as ghee, ext. So we often fall off the wagon, although our attempts continue.

Paleo eating is time consuming… however, with my babes it is how I want them to eat, although I have modified the concept of Paleo eating for them. I had eliminated dairy, gluten, refined sugar and processed foods. However, my babes do consume quinoa, legumes such as lentils and beans.  Since approximately 7months old up until last monday my babes had not consumed dairy, gluten, refined sugars or processed foods

I know once I write what it is I am compromising with, many people will tell me to seek a second opinion or change pediatricians which I am open to the advice. However, it’s a difficult situation, which I will explain further.

My babes recently turned 15 months and with turning 15 months comes another well check and for me another anxiety attack. Since my daughter was born my pediatrician has been concerned with her weight. Bell has always had her own growth curve, a twin born at 37 weeks weighing in at 4lbs 11oz.

At 12 months, December 15th my daughter weighed 15lbs. Between December 15th and March 2013 (2013 has hated my family) Bell got the Flu and then RSV, which I am sure I gave to her via my job. In addition, my little girl who had zero teeth at 12 month, 13 months almost 14 months has finally sprouted two on the bottom and several coming in on the top. So with that said on January 4th she weighed 14lbs and 12.8oz at a follow up appointment, after being diagnosed with the flu on new years eve still to get RSV at the end of January. In addition, my daughter did not start crawling until almost 13 months so she has been on the move.

At 12 months my pediatrician was worried and wanted to do all kinds of testing but decided to put everything on hold until the 15 month well check. At the 15 month appointment I held my breath as I put my daughter on the scale. I wanted to die, literally climb under a rock and wither away when the scale read 15lbs 2.3oz. No fucking way, this little girl consumes food and I mean lots of food including meat and multiple avocados a day. In addition, she drinks 36+oz of Almond Milk with 5grams of protein.

Yet, there it was and although we had been told that children often don’t gain much weight between 12 months and 15 months we were in for a lecture. Oh, and can I tell you I actually cried at the appointment yep, cried. Once again concerns for Bells weight turned to our incompetent decision not to have our babes consume dairy and gluten.  As I voiced my concern with her comments my pediatrician reminded us that she had sent us to a nutritionist… I was floored. Her remark was “I sent you to a nutritionist and you did not like her”.

Let’s discuss the nutritionist, we show up and you can tell she is completely uncomfortable with what my husband looks like. As we explain our diet you can tell she is only focusing on my husbands interaction with my daughter who is freaking out because the appointment has taken way to long. I watched the women scowl, literally, at my husband when my daughter grabbed his glasses off his face and my husband responded with a stern tone “no touch” which is what we do at home. Saving grace from her calling social work was I am a social worker with the hospital.

After explaining our diet and finding out she knows nothing about it. She provided us a list of things to give Bell that did not go along with the diet but did ask if we could give her yogurt, which we responded we could give her coconut yogurt, which seemed to satisfy her. So hence our follow up appointment the first thing she says to us is “so I did some research on vegan diets”, which I about lost it. You fucking kidding me, all this babe consumes is meat.

So, that nutritionist… who never followed up with us again which might have had to do with... yep, sending us to see OT for Bell’s make believe feeding issue. The OT was puzzled by the referral and verified we were feeding her appropriately oh and she was advanced in fine motor skills.

So, when the pediatrician says that we are to put our children on dairy and gluten or we could possibly compromise brain development I find myself questioning every choice I have made as a parent thus far. I throw my hands in the air, I can no longer fight this battle and unfortunately have gone against my guiding principles and placed my children on cows milk. I question this decision every day…. I am so angry with myself. However, in terms of gluten that will be a giant fuck no. If the pediatrician is worried about carbohydrate intake these babes can get that from me increasing the amount of beans, artichokes, broccoli, quinoa, and the skins on pears and apples.

I am compromising with what I believe is best for my babes… I can justify that my babes are small because they have never consumed processed foods, which contribute to obesity in children in the United States. However, when I am faced with the possibility I am compromising my babe’s health my hands are tied. Why is it I cannot find a link to more natural, diet friendly pediatricians in my area. I would like a second opinion but until I can find what I have requested, if I seek a second opinion I will be entering practices of western medicine doctors. I will say, to my pediatricians credit she did attempt to research toddlers and paleo and did not find any empirical research to support nor deny the benefits of a paleo diet. Someone needs to get on it, ASAP. 


  1. Hey! I went through a similar situation when my twins lost weight between their 6-9 month visit or something like that. I was breast feeding them and he wanted me to give them formula for weight gain. I knew they were healthy. I knew they were satisfied. They slept, they pooped, they did not cry all day. They were fine. I lost sleep, I cried, I nearly switched doctors but I did not give in. I held out and they are fine. They never had formula. You are the mom. You know your sweet babies. I would have found it hard not to punch the nutritionist. There has got to be someone out there that can help you and I pray you find it. You do what you know is right. You are doing an amazing job. I love seeing their pics on IG and they will grow, they will thrive and you will make it. Keep doing your homework and find someone who will suit your needs a little better. Give them avacados by the bucketload and lots of kisses. Keep your chin up momma. You are an inspiration and know your kids better than anyone else.

  2. First off your an amazing mom, you have happy healthy babies... so what if Bella is on the smaller side. Doctors always get nervous when children don't fit into their pre designed boxes.Not sure what state you live in but my peds doctor in Oregon told me that almond milk is a perfectly good alternative to cow's milk. I'm curious to know if your peds doctor has children and is not being professional. She might be taking offense to the fact that she raised her children on gluten and cows milk. which in no way is what your saying of course. You never truly know ones motives. I would find another doctor and get a second opinion. You probably need it for peice of mind, but I will tell you right now fuck that doctor and do what you know is best. I know its hard because I have been their too. But just the fact you got upset that means your going above and beyond for your children. Seriously fuck that doctor, do what you know is best!
    I love seeing your post on ig! Keeping doing you, its notnyour fault modern medicine hasn't caught up to your awesomeness! Much love to you and your family!

  3. I think you should go with your gut (literally :)) and feed your babies what you know is best for them. It sounds like what you are feeding them is a thousand times better than the processed food that many babies eat. Plus there are kids that are lactose intolerant and can't have cows milk. My friend has cut dairy (all kinds) out of her 13 month old's diet and she is better for it. Kids will lose weight when they're sick & it looks as though your little girl is gaining weight now that she's better. It sounds as though the doctors & nutritionists are freaking out about something that they haven't researched at all, when you have put the time into researching and ensuring that your kids are eating a balanced diet. You are a great mum. Don't let them get you down x

  4. My son has been on a gluten free, cow milk free diet pretty much since he turned a year old,and stopped formula. I highly recommend goat milk, it us much better suited for humans than cows milk.
    There is a good variety of gluten free products out there so their diet can be adjusted. Seems you are doing everything you can with your kids well being in mind, I mean not every kid needs to be a giant, everyone develops at their own pace! Keep up the good work dear.