tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55023612217579369452024-03-19T21:14:17.706-07:00bell and pistolbell and pistol: a little blog about two of my favorite soundsBell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-69515674847677833312013-08-09T11:47:00.001-07:002013-08-09T11:47:07.641-07:00ignorant bliss <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Oh kansas, you seem a little confused, if memory serves me
right it goes APRIL showers bring MAY flowers… although, who am I to complain
about rain in August. Not I; normally the Midwest would be brutal with the need
to seek refuge from the blistering heat but instead we have enjoyed the influx
of mosquitos and lots of mud...</div>
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A child’s dream playground; no concrete jungle for these
babes of mine!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
And so, last weeks
family adventure landed us at Hillsdale State Park, with every intention of
remaining for, wait for it, 48 hours! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Failure…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
It’s a learning curve people, seriously I know somewhere
there is a punch line associated to the joke, how many trips in a travel trailer does it take, to make it past 24 hours…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
It’s the little things in life, and in this particular
circumstance just pure ignorance. We laughed when we saw people at the site
driving 5 miles an hour towing these dwarfed plastic containers. WTF, it looked
ridiculous, we were dumfounded by what they could possibly be?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Well ladies and gents, tah dah, we are the
assholes … that coveted plastic container in the RV world is a 30 gallon
tote-along tank. Yep, when you have given your babes three baths thus far and cleaning up from your fifth meal, it's at that very moment you turn to your husband and make some sarcastic remark regarding the water that is pooling in the sink… and then you check the bathtub. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
FUCK<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
See what we needed at that moment was yep, a 30 gallon
tote-along tank, and since we are super smart and did not even know those existed, fucking unicorns, we did not have one. Which required hooking the
trailer back up to the truck and taking it to the waste water dump site at the park to then unhitch and set everything back up again, too daunting. So
the decision was made to head for the hills… oh wait, I mean away from the
hills.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Oh the humor in our daily life, so with two 19 month olds we
had to pack up and hitch the trailer in 30 minutes. Oh why, you ask, we were smart and only stayed an hour and 15 minutes from the storage facility
but it was 7:50pm and the storage facility closes at 10:00pm.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Bam! Success 9:47pm trailer drop and headed home…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Lesson 1: Things that look ridiculous in RV parks are a
necessity <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Lesson 2: Survival of the fittest requires many gadgets</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p>and </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Lesson 3: Not a thing matters when you have results such as
these</div>
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<br />Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-11149524667998209172013-08-02T19:16:00.000-07:002013-08-02T19:16:35.598-07:00and so it begins<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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If you had to hear my incessant bitching regarding our first
flight experience with the babes, you will be happy to know we fulfilled our
vow to avoid flying with them for years to come. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Oh, yes we did, and as a result bought a second home…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You would have thought our flight experience would have been
enough to convince us that a travel trailer was a must, yet we toyed with the
idea… as I have unbridled fear of commitment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The kicker was when I realized I found myself using the word
NO more than I had ever intended… I cringed when I started to identify the
implications that I am constantly redirecting behaviors that include
observation, exploration, and boundary pushing… what the fuck am I doing, I
thought to myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It was at that moment a home away from home became a
necessity. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A place where NO is limited and observation, exploration,
and boundary pushing activities, intentions, and behaviors are fostered. A
place where being a mother is taken out of context and ultimately out of my
comfort zone. A time to wander the elusive road that is known to be less
traveled. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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In truth, I needed to lighten up. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am a social worker… yep, I tell people daily to navigate
with eyes wide open. I know the ramifications of the past and how it is often
used to shield the future. What I don’t know is how to abandon control… what it
is to be a child. There is a story lodged in the spaces between those words,
however, another day… another time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As what we have here is our first attempt… strategically
planned 24 hours, and I will tell you it will take several more for me to truly
find solitude in letting go. For being a mama bird means forever trying to
protect my babes and pulling a 31’ trailer behind us at speeds upward of 70
miles an hour down dusty highways and around blind turns made for many dirty
looks, exaggerated seat shifting, using the word dude, and the occasional… what
the fuck man until we arrived at our destination.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I can tell you, the first night was, thus far our only
night. Nothing like boisterous thunderstorms and eccentric lightning dances,
lasting for 6 hours plus, to make one thankful not to be in a tent. As expected
our babes refused to sleep, this has been a regular treat at home as of late,
and in this case surrender occurred. Placing me with Bell in the queen size
bed, and my husband with Pistol in a twin size bunk… clinging on to warmth with
the infant sized crochet blanket left behind by Bell. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Although my husband is a hero, it is no picnic to sleep with
Bell. This babe rotates in her sleep; I equate her to an Australian Shepard
herding sheep, and I ultimately find myself hugging the edge of the mattress.
Not to mention her random screams in the middle of the night when she stirs and
realizes her “ba ba” is not in her mouth. As a result, triggering my fight or
flight response in my attempt to locate the elusive “ba ba”. Yet, she sleeps
soundly through the ever so daunting pounding rain and snaps of thunder. I
remember multiple times, that night, thinking my husband was walking around the
trailer as it swayed from side to side… attempting to call out to him in a
pathetic whisper as to not wake the beast next to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Tah dah, so on this gloomy journey we survived and both my babes found a little piece of
heaven.<br />
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well at least until it was time to get out of the water...<br />
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<!--EndFragment-->Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-14431046755999260752013-06-18T13:50:00.000-07:002013-07-26T11:23:49.582-07:00We Failed As Parents<br />
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Disclaimer… longest post ever, inappropriate language, and my personal experience and attitude problem</div>
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Saturday June 8</div>
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The ease to which we conquered our first flight was an anomaly </div>
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We felt relatively unscathed; matter of fact we thought we were brilliant. We upgraded our boarding passes to be two of the first 5 people to board the plane. Acquired a row of seats to ourselves in the front; no one dared to brave the middle seat between us for our two and a half hour flight to Vegas.<br />
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We were prepared, armed with enough recommended tips and tricks to gorge our, lovely hipster carry on’s, petunia pickle bottom abundance boxy backpack and wistful weekender. Pistol slept soundly and Bell, well we kept her busy with our talents and wit and holy shit our plane even arrived early.<br />
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We encountered our first hurdle at the Vegas airport; although we had opted out of checking a stroller, as we were perfectly happy with ergo wearing our newly walking twins… they were not. They wanted down immediately and were off; this is when we began to realize the hipster carry on’s were HEAVY.<br />
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With that said If I read your blog or article on tips for flying with toddlers I want to say a big FUCK YOU; yep, it is like that! I will put it out there…. preparation is futile; flying with toddlers SUCKS and I would suggest never doing it… specifically with 18 month old twins.</div>
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We attempted to eat lunch at a Mexican Restaurant in the Vegas airport, which was challenging, as the nifty invention of a high chair was non-existent. Once again we were super brilliant and upgraded our boarding passes ...A5 and A6, oh hell yes!<br />
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Oh, I mean hell no… this was the first of three flights from hell. First let me give two of three big FUCK YOU’s to Southwest airlines. As I have highlighted our brilliance on numerous occasions, on paying 40 dollars a ticket to upgrade boarding for piece of mind, never in the discourse with southwest employees about the flight to Reno being over booked did they let us in on pertinent information, but first…<br />
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As two of the first six to board the plane, and yet finding out upon boarding, the flight had people still on it from the previous flight, we scored upfront seating. Knowing we would have to share I took the window and Brennan took the middle. Once situated we noticed it was extremely hot on the plane, there was no air.<br />
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Lets recap, Bellamy refused to sleep on the first flight, was tired of sitting, and no air on the plane with outside temps being 100+… disaster. Bell freaked out, I mean full tantrum in a very small space meant mom getting hit and kicked in the face. I wanted to cry, as there was nothing I could do to redirect her, nothing in our magic bags of preparation worked. A small break arrived when a man boarding looked at Bell and said to her “all she needs is a handsome Norwegian to look at to make her happy”, or make her think for one moment “how can I get louder”, because yep.<br />
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Rocking her she finally calmed down and relaxed as the plane lifted off the ground… and this is where Southwest Airlines failed us as patrons. As we were getting our safety lesson a flight attended approached us and told Brennan he would have to move. Wait, what, yes this is correct.<br />
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You cannot have more than 4 people seated in a row and we had 5. I am telling you, drink orders had already been taken and my husband with my son had to trade places with someone and if you can believe it, people refused to give up the aisle seat for a middle seat. Luckily the lady sitting next to us on the aisle took the middle so an asshole could sit in the aisle seat. I understand, I would hate to move but it was an emergency… which Brennan and Pistol moving, set Bell off for another 15 minutes. I held her tight to my chest and she finally passed out from heat and exhaustion. I could not move, not to get gum to help my ears, not to get a drink… I sat clutching my daughter fearing her wrath and cried for the hour flight to Reno.<br />
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Now here it is… the moment I admit we failed as parents.<br />
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Yes, this was the thought perusing my brain as I wrangled Bell as we awaited our baggage, cursing the weight of our carry on’s, and lingered in 104 degree heat wondering where in the fuck our rental car shuttle was. Boarding the shuttle I was exhausted and emotionally void of feeling; people it was rough. It just got worse… I will spare you the details and tribulations of our hotel in Reno and say that we got to have dinner with great people.<br />
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Sunday June 9<br />
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The following morning we said goodbye to Reno and headed an hour to Lake Tahoe to yet another hotel and to bare witness to a wedding, well at least Brennan and Pistol did. See it was raining at this outdoor wedding, in Tahoe, out of nowhere, and Bell could not be confined, so we walked along the lake looking for bugs and collecting dandelions.<br />
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Monday June 10<br />
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Once again, do you see a theme… after having an impromptu breakfast at a lone picnic table at the lake we set forth on a two and half hour drive to Chester, California to visit my brother, his wife heather and my 6 month old niece, Juliana. Chester was lovely, and my babes had the opportunity to play in Lake Almanor.<br />
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Wednesday June 12<br />
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Let me revisit the statement… we failed as parents. How the hell did we ever think it was appropriate to subject our babes to so many transitions? Leaving at 7:00am Wednesday morning to drive the 2 hours to Reno Airport my anxiety was active and I was ready to start crying. We were about to get on two planes with a total of 4.5 hours in the air with the longest stretch being the second flight with only 30 minutes to get to our connecting flight.<br />
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We arrived early to the Reno airport, which was a mistake as unlike Vegas, there were no true restaurants to get appropriate food for the babes. We attempted to feed them premade sandwiches but they refused to eat the ham or turkey, which normally is what they eat. In addition, there was no milk anywhere and they had just finished what we had brought with us. Bell screamed through the exhausting wait at the security check point as she wanted down from siting for hours in the car.<br />
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Once again we upgraded our boarding to A7 and A8; as we awaited boarding I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I told Brennan I wanted to rent a car and drive home. I did not care how long it would take I did not want to fly. We attempted to contact car rental agencies and were quoted prices 1000+. The plane began to board and we decided it was a must to fly and get home as quick as possible.<br />
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As we were waiting in line, knowing we would have to get aisle seats across from each other to sit together, here is number 3... FUCK YOU to southwest airlines, a lady asks us what number we have. We say A7 and A8 and she says well I have A8 too. The lady walks over to the ticket collector lady and shares her discovery, to which her and Brennan are sent to the ticket counter as we are boarding. Once again I start to cry out of pure frustration. We paid 80 bucks for this inconvenience.<br />
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Once again, someone was looking out for me, as the gentleman who was supposed to be in front of me had let me in front of him saying “go ahead I have 3 of those and I know how hard it can be”, I thanked him as my husband ran off. As we started to board the lady returned and said her ticket was correct and his was wrong and he is still at the counter. I lost it, another over booked flight and only 30 minutes to catch our connecting flight, the same gentleman says to me, “why don’t I take the aisle across from you and when your husband gets on I will let him sit there”. I was dumbfounded by his kindness, I could not believe it and as the plane filled he kept his word and took a seat towards the back of the plane.</div>
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I sat rocking Bell, who was freaking out, until she fell asleep… crying softly.<br />
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Upon landing, due to the Reno flight being late, we had even less time to get to the gate with no time to get any of the necessities that would include milk, food, or a diaper change. Once again, I felt sick. Bell wanted down and it was not a possibility, I was feeling completely overwhelmed as we boarded. The three hour flight was thus far the longest moment in time ever. Luckily, I had two wonderful row mates… women who shared they sat by me on purpose to help as they have been there. They helped me keep Bell occupied and minimized the embarrassment and anxiety that came with her 15 minute tantrums as she kick and hit me wanting to get down. The last hour of the flight was the most brutal. Yet, we survived.<br />
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Let me tell you, kindness of strangers, knowing your babes favorite things which in our case, we packed straws, target dollar sticker books, and IPads which were all that was helpful in my futile attempt to be prepared. Luckily, we lightened our load on the return flights as I left one of my hipster carryon’s in the hotel closet in Tahoe.</div>
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What I wish someone would have said to me is… what the fuck do you think you are doing. What do they say about hindsight, well fuck that, foresight is where it is at and this includes purchasing an RV and driving, with weeks to spare, to any future destinations.</div>
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Oh, and just in case you did not think this was ridiculous enough… shout out to my amazing husband who thought it was a good idea to leave the key to the car in the suit case. The shuttle for the airport drops us off at our car and all I want is to get home. However, I am chasing my son around the parking lot, while my daughter is screaming because I will not let her out of the ergo. My clothing is strewn about the parking garage as my husband is frantically searching for the key to the car. After 15 minutes, of forgetting where he put it, he locates the key and we are off. Yep, it is all about love, right?</div>
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With the bad and the ugly you inevitably find some good. There were some beautiful moments... simple moments for all of us to breath and acquire some personal space which mainly took place in the lovely Lake Almanor.<br />
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Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-70552622766035832442013-03-16T16:24:00.002-07:002013-03-18T19:40:13.048-07:00Dairy 1 Mama 0 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
What is motherhood, I am
sure I could get a million responses, however, I will say motherhood equates to
an ever changing, mind fucking, heart palpatating, snuggle fest, at least that
is my definition for today. What is my attitude problem today, I have found
myself in or should I say I am compromising with a decision I do not agree
with.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I made a choice when my
babes began to consume solids that they would not consume dairy or gluten. At
least not until the day came that I could no longer shield them from, okay
control them eating what their friends eat. My husband and I attempt to eat paleo,
although with eating paleo comes meal planning and trips to a variety of
grocery stores for specific items such as ghee, ext. So we often fall off the
wagon, although our attempts continue. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Paleo eating is time
consuming… however, with my babes it is how I want them to eat, although I have
modified the concept of Paleo eating for them. I had eliminated dairy, gluten,
refined sugar and processed foods. However, my babes do consume quinoa, legumes
such as lentils and beans. Since
approximately 7months old up until last monday my babes had not consumed dairy, gluten,
refined sugars or processed foods <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know once I write what it
is I am compromising with, many people will tell me to seek a second opinion or
change pediatricians which I am open to the advice. However, it’s a difficult
situation, which I will explain further. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My babes recently turned 15
months and with turning 15 months comes another well check and for me another anxiety
attack. Since my daughter was born my pediatrician has been concerned with her
weight. Bell has always had her own growth curve, a twin born at 37 weeks
weighing in at 4lbs 11oz. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At 12 months, December 15th
my daughter weighed 15lbs. Between December 15th and March 2013 (2013 has hated
my family) Bell got the Flu and then RSV, which I am sure I gave to her via my
job. In addition, my little girl who had zero teeth at 12 month, 13 months
almost 14 months has finally sprouted two on the bottom and several coming in
on the top. So with that said on January 4<sup>th</sup> she weighed 14lbs and
12.8oz at a follow up appointment, after being diagnosed with the flu on new
years eve still to get RSV at the end of January. In addition, my daughter did not start
crawling until almost 13 months so she has been on the move. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At 12 months my pediatrician
was worried and wanted to do all kinds of testing but decided to put everything
on hold until the 15 month well check. At the 15 month appointment I held my
breath as I put my daughter on the scale. I wanted to die, literally climb
under a rock and wither away when the scale read 15lbs 2.3oz. No fucking way,
this little girl consumes food and I mean lots of food including meat and
multiple avocados a day. In addition, she drinks 36+oz of Almond Milk with
5grams of protein. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet, there it was and
although we had been told that children often don’t gain much weight between 12
months and 15 months we were in for a lecture. Oh, and can I tell you I
actually cried at the appointment yep, cried. Once again concerns for Bells
weight turned to our incompetent decision not to have our babes consume dairy
and gluten. As I voiced my concern with
her comments my pediatrician reminded us that she had sent us to a
nutritionist… I was floored. Her remark was “I sent you to a nutritionist and
you did not like her”. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s discuss the
nutritionist, we show up and you can tell she is completely uncomfortable with
what my husband looks like. As we explain our diet you can tell she is only
focusing on my husbands interaction with my daughter who is freaking out
because the appointment has taken way to long. I watched the women scowl,
literally, at my husband when my daughter grabbed his glasses off his face and
my husband responded with a stern tone “no touch” which is what we do at home.
Saving grace from her calling social work was I am a social worker with the
hospital. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After explaining our
diet and finding out she knows nothing about it. She provided us a list of
things to give Bell that did not go along with the diet but did ask if we could
give her yogurt, which we responded we could give her coconut yogurt, which
seemed to satisfy her. So hence our follow up appointment the first thing she
says to us is “so I did some research on vegan diets”, which I about lost it.
You fucking kidding me, all this babe consumes is meat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, that nutritionist… who
never followed up with us again which might have had to do with... yep, sending
us to see OT for Bell’s make believe feeding issue. The OT was puzzled by the referral and
verified we were feeding her appropriately oh and she was advanced in fine
motor skills. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, when the pediatrician says
that we are to put our children on dairy and gluten or we could possibly compromise brain development I find myself questioning every choice I have made as a
parent thus far. I throw my hands in the air, I can no longer fight this
battle and unfortunately have gone against my guiding principles and placed my
children on cows milk. I question this decision every day…. I am so angry with
myself. However, in terms of gluten that will be a giant fuck no. If the
pediatrician is worried about carbohydrate intake these babes can get that from
me increasing the amount of beans, artichokes, broccoli, quinoa, and the skins
on pears and apples. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am compromising with what
I believe is best for my babes… I can justify that my babes are small because
they have never consumed processed foods, which contribute to obesity in
children in the United States. However, when I am faced with the possibility I
am compromising my babe’s health my hands are tied. Why is it I cannot find a
link to more natural, diet friendly pediatricians in my area. I would like a
second opinion but until I can find what I have requested, if I seek a second opinion I will be entering
practices of western medicine doctors. I will say, to my pediatricians credit
she did attempt to research toddlers and paleo and did not find any empirical
research to support nor deny the benefits of a paleo diet. Someone needs to get
on it, ASAP. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-43714631484866695932013-01-27T07:57:00.000-08:002013-01-27T07:57:54.774-08:00step right up <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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mom fail... </div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
so on december 15th my babes turned one! my husband and i decided we would like to attempt a project when it comes to yearly pictures. my husband is very interested in side show banners and i too find the simplicity in their impact to be outstanding. </div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
so together we have decided that every year, as much as we have to fight with these two, they will become characters worthy of coney island! </div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
initially i thought i could capture the spirit of what we were trying to create in these photos... and well wa wa wa that would be a no, and so our talented and awe inspiring photo journalist friend Steve Hebert http://www.stevehebert.net/ took on the challenge and all i can say is coney island eat your heart out! </div>
</div>
<div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Introducing: Bell the Snake Charmer and Pistol the Strong Man </div>
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQaukShnShYMHNYkWnQgiz_RUtHkYnrjjdy1Tkv9yvqfQTumn_p2Tbzid9HV0-87NpTWLBvrlWolMD9FVVF_SBKKo1527izR4S984lHnN9RS1KFNYHX0QV036iUfxM5afQLYTs8J5RzLQ/s1600/bell+n+pistol+1+yr+old+portarit_0029.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQaukShnShYMHNYkWnQgiz_RUtHkYnrjjdy1Tkv9yvqfQTumn_p2Tbzid9HV0-87NpTWLBvrlWolMD9FVVF_SBKKo1527izR4S984lHnN9RS1KFNYHX0QV036iUfxM5afQLYTs8J5RzLQ/s1600/bell+n+pistol+1+yr+old+portarit_0029.jpg" /></a></div>
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and a big thank you to Steve Hebert and family for allowing us to have some of his precious time!Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-28454400152481604352013-01-20T16:57:00.001-08:002013-01-20T16:57:33.812-08:00happy new year she said with sarcasm my motivation to blog my little heart out has wained as the 2013 plague gripped my household. we have thus far had a lot of firsts including double allergic reactions to what we have been told was due to egg consumption. resulting in taking these immune compromised babes to the pediatrician due to hives which resulted in my bell getting influenza b which was passed to pistol, then to me and then my husband. ultimately leading to pistols first ear ache and over 300.00 in pediatrician visits and follow up copays.<br />
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sleep has been limited or interrupted for weeks... my husband in the guest bed with one babe and me with the other due to middle of the night awakenings and refusals to go back to sleep. from what i read this is rather normal for babes after turning one, however for us it has been a drastic change in the equilibrium of our first rodeo.<br />
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yet, attempting to be optimistic i am looking towards the bright side and well within the various emotional challenges of our firsts of 2103 there has thus been several gems including our first time swinging ever. however, when it comes to bell with fun always come tears. so i share with you our first trip to the park of 2013 braving 40 degree weather and the trauma that is swinging!<br />
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Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-86244977438322655892012-12-30T22:08:00.002-08:002012-12-30T22:08:25.121-08:00Dear Santa i have been pacing back and forth in anticipation to blog the pictures from my babes first birthday bash on 12/15/2012... unfortunately, although well worth the wait, i will continue to pace.<br />
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so with that said, i will move onto christmas and the craziness it is... in the frenzy of trying to diligently make our obligations to christmas eve and christmas festivities we some how forgot to take a moment and capture a family picture... or even a picture of the babes in their christmas best.<br />
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i have now realized what is important... after stretching the limits with two teething, low grade fever having, sleep deprived due to missed naps, snot blowing down right grumpy twins i have come to the realization, my only obligation... is to them.<br />
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at a time where present opening is still overwhelming for these babes... i now reflect on the importance of honoring their needs. and when awaken at 5:30am on christmas morning by two wide awake babes that refused to return to sleep... as a family we opened presents with some of the only smiles we saw throughout this rough christmas holiday.<br />
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i will say, i look froward to next year when my babes have the drive to tear open their own gifts... it is such a bittersweet moment to know the presents your tearing into to assist your babes at 5:30am are the very reason you were up until 1:30am, 4 sad hours prior, wrapping presents diligently.<br />
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Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-23688151193139800362012-12-05T07:30:00.001-08:002012-12-05T07:31:25.926-08:00Cheers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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this mama has been overwhelmingly busy, self induced, as of late. participation in handmade ornament swaps, hosting book exchanges and preparing for my babes 1 year birthday.... eek.<br />
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yet, with being a mama, i ordered, facilitated and captured what has become the o'rourke holiday card for this year. holiday card, meaning i wont get them till the 19th of dec to be challenged to mail them all by the 20th. </div>
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for this mama i had a few gems this year that i could have picked out to highlight our family. </div>
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however, as i have said in the past everything is relative. as a mama of twins who have had some delay in milestone development; i have spent many a days fretting over my babes journey through challenges. </div>
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wondering, assuming, contemplating, and listening to others... all in all freaking myself out. so with that said, you will understand why it is we decided to screw having our babes looking at the camera and highlighted who these babes currently are for that perfect picture.</div>
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as they are so not interested in their mother and fathers attempt to humor them!</div>
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here is a little screen shot of what the holiday card looks like!<br />
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<br />Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-1441597051497228852012-11-26T19:40:00.000-08:002012-11-26T19:40:13.878-08:00damn flash so i co-hosted my first bridal shower yesterday... for my girlfriend who is having a swank court house wedding on 12.12.2012.<br />
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my girlfriend has a particular aesthetic which sent me in the direction of a vintage inspired shabby chic bridal shower. as a mom with two babes at home, my time is limited, yet i found that all i wanted to do was make handmade crafts for the decorations... ha ha ha, just call me an idiot!<br />
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the shower was gorgeous and although the pictures that follow do not do justice to the beauty of the space... it was a rather magical, simplistic, and quaint shabby chic affair!<br />
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note: 9th floor loft event spaces with one wall without floor to ceiling windows... fabulous party environment. wa wa waaaa for lovely photography, as Kansas City, blessed us with another beautiful sunny day in November.<br />
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the bride...<br />
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the event space...<br />
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crafting fool...<br />
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i would say... job well done!<br />
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<br />Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-46677761355148311162012-11-26T19:34:00.000-08:002012-11-26T19:34:51.006-08:00all smiles... who the fuck am i kidding<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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thanksgiving has come and gone... which ultimately means my babes are closer to being one, ugh! i did not have the opportunity to get my holiday craft on for this particular holiday as i was engrossed with decorations for my girlfriend's bridal shower which was yesterday. however, as with every special moment i stole some time to document my babes in their thanksgiving best. as with everything, it has become more difficult to obtain pleasant or forward facing portraits of these two...<br />
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from our house to yours... be afraid, be very afraid and happy holidays.<br />
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i think it is about time to dust off photoshop and get back to the heart of picture manipulation... however there is something so relevant about the grainy, seedy and dingy photos that give a nod to real life!<br />
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as i said then and i will say now... i am so thankful for all that i have, especially grumpy babies.<br />
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<br />Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-5904984112588065222012-11-18T19:53:00.000-08:002012-11-18T19:53:46.622-08:00where is my number 1 dammit!11.15.12... the day my babes turned 11 months old. it has been several days since this event occurred. since then, i have been stuck in my own head. i have been engaging in discourse with my own thoughts.<br />
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how is it possible? why is it i can't remember... what it felt like to hold them when they were so small. everything i know of them is a reflection of who and where they are today... maybe yesterday and if i think real hard they day before yesterday.<br />
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in a panic of wondering how it is that this is possible i grasped on to simple memory of the night we were all released from the NICU and we could leave the hospital.<br />
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i was freaking out on my husband as we made the 20 minute drive home. why aren't they making noise, are they breathing... i cant here them breathing. no don't pull over just get us home, slow down your driving to fast. all while i was attempting to turn my c-section recovering ass around in the seat in an attempt to see an elusive sign that my 4lbs and 5lbs 6 day old babes were alive.<br />
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wrapped in that simple memory is the knowing that it was the one and only time in these babes lives i wished they would have screamed and cried on the drive home.<br />
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so in my attempt to understand why the past 11 months seem only evidenced in the today i decided to revisit their monthlies i have taken. and in doing so i realized we did not start the monthlies until 2 months. makes no sense, i had been taking weeklies of these two since day 1... and so it is i ponder<br />
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why is the act of being a mama so damn elusive...<br />
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<br />Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-10808626140968736602012-11-01T19:50:00.005-07:002012-11-04T13:51:21.520-08:00Tah Dah <div style="text-align: center;">
halloween is over... </div>
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however, i am amazed at myself and my husband's creativity </div>
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to make these babes first halloween one for the books</div>
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i am especially floored with my first halloween creations </div>
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including my first hooded cape, mask and wolf accessories</div>
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who would have thought</div>
Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-48913675737994574882012-09-10T18:39:00.001-07:002012-10-18T14:13:23.908-07:00get over it mama<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
i often post pictures of my babes on IG with a caption seeking to obtain sympathy that these two heavenly babes are already engaging in private conversations with the unwritten law no mum's allowed... wink to my australian mums. i know i should suck it up and not take it personally after all these two danced around each other vying for precious space in a cramped uterus. i can honestly tell you when i was first presented with the genders of these two... my heart sunk, for a brief moment, as i grieved over the same gender relationship that would never be. however, i kicked my own ass, fighting the temptation to wallow and was thankful for two healthy growing beings. and now i can't imagine it any other way. i have the best of both worlds and as these two continue to flourish the beauty of their hands on relationship and private discourse make me ashamed that i ever discounted the nature of their relationship... as you see these two have an unspoken understanding that i can only wish i could decode. </div>
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Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-62849574220071342372012-08-23T22:11:00.000-07:002012-10-18T13:42:57.187-07:00from a dictatorship to a democracy so my babes turned 8 months on wednesday the 15th, i am lagging, and as it has become the norm around these parts that my talented husband watercolors a sign to be used as a mile marker while i attempt to freeze my babes rapid growth in print. granted all i want to truly do is cry as these two continue to climb without haste up the age ladder. now usually i can capture at least one perfect picture out of the 90 to 160 i snap. i guess i should define my idea of perfection, faces smiling, looking directly at me while remaining still so this expensive camera, that should have heat seeking accuracy, attempts to get both babes in focus at the same time. well it has come the time that my understanding of perfection needs to be slightly tweaked. as the personalities of my babes continues to flourish so does this mama's understanding that perfection is the simple act of allowing these two to dictate their own canvas... and man is it beautiful!<br />
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<br />Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-76958081434805127232012-08-09T20:31:00.002-07:002012-10-18T14:14:19.351-07:00land of the lost<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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okay... i must admit i am sometimes a very lazy mama. my intentions are selfish, yep i said selfish. as a stay at home mom, for the most part, there are days when i can barely drag my ass out of bed. it's been a normal routine for several months that after the 6:00 am feed my babes return to their cribs to slumber. however, the tides are a changing. with the change has come a new orchestra of sounds from pistol. i would have no problem thinking that the sounds i hear coming from the baby monitor sound like what i would assume a baby pterodactyl would sound like. and then it dawned on me, ha ha, we might have very well predispositoned pistol to emulate the sounds of a baby pterodactyl since his first bath.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCgkJnQQf9sgMzXzw8PewUSdrnYfc4x5U4Nqpp02dCUf3UPNAsElD_DDQ4OyG2Pff6H1O2O6y530fghHUeRoIH1gZgImczVIpZ7FJOHOs4fbVToCNVUC3rXigEKqWNVDftklOdcWRXPG0/s1600/IMG_0227.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCgkJnQQf9sgMzXzw8PewUSdrnYfc4x5U4Nqpp02dCUf3UPNAsElD_DDQ4OyG2Pff6H1O2O6y530fghHUeRoIH1gZgImczVIpZ7FJOHOs4fbVToCNVUC3rXigEKqWNVDftklOdcWRXPG0/s1600/IMG_0227.jpg" /></a><br />
however... then i realized that the bath towel to which i remember as dinosaur themed was in fact that of a shark. damn, if i have to take a second guess where these sounds originated... i will have to blame my husband. he was never good at being quiet when these two were in utero.Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-73381804494518974982012-07-13T22:41:00.001-07:002012-10-18T14:18:56.821-07:00torti what? plagio who?at 28 weeks my ambitious thoughts of a natural vaginal birth were thrown to the wind. i was informed that my lovely daughter who found a secure nest on top of my bladder was breeched and first in line... most likely, not willing to give up her placement. initially i had thought that my stubborn little bell had refused to give up her place in line but the more i learn about her positional plagiocephaly in utero and torticollis i realized her big, little, brother hogged the womb. 6 days after birth, as a family, we went home to adapt to our new roles. taking my daughter in for the first time in our natural surroundings i noticed that not only did she favor laying to left but that the left side of her head appeared flat. i pointed out my concern to the pediatrician and was told to keep an eye on her. more appointments, more suggestions to attempt to get my infant daughter to lay on her right side... resulted in an appointment with a Pediatric Plastic Surgeon which led to a diagnosis of positional plagiocephaly and torticollis. with scripts in hand bell was introduced to physical and occupational therapy.<br />
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we worked diligently in an attempt to avoid cranial remolding orthosis. after multiple visits with the occupational therapist and the affirmation that bell's head control was appropriate my baby girl was measured for a helmet. </div>
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two days ago we picked up the helmet and learned the crucial process of acclimating bell to wearing it. prior to implementing, my talented tattoo artist husband painted the helmet. day 1 began the journey of bell and her helmet, one hour on and one hour off with no naps or bedtime with the helmet. </div>
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today, is day 2 and it has been rough. two hours on and one hour off with no naps or bedtime with the helmet. although the most traumatic part for my baby is not wearing the helmet but the act of taking it off and putting it on. </div>
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tomorrow is day 3, four hours on and one hour off wearing the helmet at nap and bedtime. the ultimate goal is 23 hours a day of helmet wearing for 3 to 4 months. </div>
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Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-85935742472688952412012-07-13T18:40:00.001-07:002012-10-18T14:16:12.974-07:00slowly but surely they all fall downas the neurotic mama of twins... "reaching developmental milestones" is one of those phrases that conjure up the good, the bad and the ugly. it's very difficult to refrain from the comparison of my beautiful babes and their daily conquest to that of their age mates, better yet, to those younger than them. i know as preemies they will travel a road that has obtained a few extra yellow bricks, i guess this mama just needs to have faith in those elusive ruby slippers. at 30 weeks both bell and pistol are mastering the art of sitting with support. it's only a matter of time until they will be running in circles... high-five to bitter sweet thoughts.<br />
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Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-81845842294031227832012-07-03T15:56:00.000-07:002012-10-18T14:16:56.030-07:00hee hawwhen my twins were born i coined a new trademark, said with sarcasm, to define the finite understanding that our lives would no longer belong to us... which translated to, our first rodeo.<br />
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today, during my daily sweep of IG i saw a picture of a girlfriend's adorable twin girls... her little ones had tussled with one another and thus a bloody nose ensued. my comment was a playful understanding that in my not so distant future i too will be mending twin inflicted wounds... both emotional and physical.<br />
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although sibling tussles have already occurred with my twins... it has been unintentional. at least i choose to believe that... like when mom or dad places the twins side by side, to return a moment later and one has turned their body 90 degrees and is kicking the other in the head... see unintentional.<br />
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however after my thought provoking comment, referenced above... our first rodeo encountered: miss. intentional and miss. i didn't do it.<br />
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and so... as is said, put your dukes up.<br />
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<br />Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-34983048691587138712012-07-02T19:37:00.000-07:002012-10-18T14:17:37.009-07:00slurp<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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with haste i jumped right into my first attempt at a blog post. although basic in content it's one of those moments i would have bronzed if viable. bronzed, as my friend pointed out, i seem to be treading awfully close to what could constitute as being the recipient of my sons first attempt at a "golden shower".<br />
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but all sarcasm aside...<br />
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how does one explain the uninhibited actions... the daily morsels of true love afforded to us for the simple task, said lightly, of being a mama. bell and pistol are 28 weeks old and as preemies are laxed in their pursuit of "normal" when it comes to negotiating developmental milestones. i have been pining over the recent attempts of my babes to return affection. big, open mouthed, drool infected... sloppy kisses. of course i attempted to document these sacred moments with... yep, my IPhone, lame!<br />
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you will have to forgive my ignorance on how to manipulate pictures in a format that is visually pleasing. but you get the idea.<br />
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Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502361221757936945.post-59956681625828556822012-07-01T08:09:00.000-07:002012-07-01T08:09:55.386-07:00wipers not includedit so happens that my son peed on me this evening. one would not think this unusual for babies. it was not so much the act... as the circumstance that has me compelled to share. i continue to learn to navigate the fluidity... said with humor, of raising twins.<br />
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first mistake, ONE strategically placed living room bin containing two different sizes of diapers.<br />
second mistake, leaning OVER my son to get to said bin.<br />
third mistake, said bin containing ONLY one size of diapers those to which belong to my daughter.<br />
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so when a semi-cool fountain encounters an unsuspecting back... resulting in a hasty turn. it is nice to know that wearing glasses has finally paid off.<br />
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<br />Bell and Pistolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03404782469485515766noreply@blogger.com0